Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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