No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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