my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Those nachos came to me in a dream
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
