nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
