i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
