i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm too high and old for this...
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