sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
