Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
