hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
