Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
