Me too!
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
