she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
