I need to stop coming to work sober
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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