he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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