Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
it's great music for shaving your balls
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
