I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
