Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
