If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Nicole vs. Life
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
