Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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