Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
