Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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