Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
