he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
