I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
