i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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