I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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