Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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