At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
