I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
