I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
