dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
