This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
