so explain again why im purple
no
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
