do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
