dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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