i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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