I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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