i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
