i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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