Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
