I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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