I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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