No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
