Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
