So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
