let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
