this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
