My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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