were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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