I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
