the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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