I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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